Poetry

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Action and Reaction

And, when I first met you
Amazed by your sparkling eyes and singsong voice
Infused with the joy of the moment
Laughing inwardly at all my past fears…

And, while I led you back through the rift
Worrying every moment that I’d turn around and you’d be gone
Rushing through the woods, past flowers I didn’t recognize
Away from your mountains and into mine…

And, while we were entering my campsite
I reveled in the look on the faces of my friends
Watching awe spread across their faces
Watching my past certainty find foundation…

And, while we chatted
Drinking our tea and mead
Listening to each others tales of our homelands.
Excited about what our meeting foretold…

And, while I stared at the night sky
To excited to sleep
Worried that I might wake up
To find this simply a fleeting dream…

Our people’s cities burned.

When I was meeting you
There were other meetings.

When I was leading you back through the rift
Others were finding their way.

While we were entering my campsite
Others were entering our cities.

While we chatted
Others were making war.

While I stared at the night sky
Others were looking at open graves.

(June 2006)

Impact: A.M. Presence

If they say shedding a tear
Makes one less of a man,
Then they can have humanity
You have no need of it.

If longing to be held
Shows so little strength,
Then it’s better to be safe
Than to be strong.

If learning to love
Is a course in self reflection,
Then take no issue
With its casual transparency.

It lets the soul breathe.

Just remember that sometimes,
Love can’t meet contingency.
For life uses a subtle tongue
As it whispers in the Weave.

Still, what is lost,
A moment gone,
May yet be another’s reprieve.

And, in the last,
When everything is said and done
And there little room for fear
Perhaps, then you will look back
And realize, no matter what,

We always held you dear.

(April 2007)

Disconnected, Discontent, Confused

There are times,
When all the kitties seem like hens
And all the marbles cubed

It’s times like this
I feel;

Disconnected…
Discontent…
Confused…

And then I remind myself
That we all have those days
And it’s not too unusual
To walk about so dazed.

There are times
When this comfort has its place
Days like this are far from few
I just thank the god’s that they have their place.

And, I start pondering anew.

(October 2006)

Frustrated in 2007

I sit here
Hoping inspiration will hit

Damn it!
I have so much to say
But, I can’t make anything fit

I want to write something uplifting But, my words reveal so much more
Like the state I am currently in
And the horror that came before.

I try to play the optimist
To the cynic in my head
With these meager scraps to feed upon
I can’t expect to be well fed.

But, you sit there all the same
Possibly hoping that I making sense
Knowing I sound lame.

Still,
It’s like two in the morning
I wonder were you are now
And I wonder if you’re still mourning.

We had such potential
But, I suppose that was just part of the lie
Seeking to be godheads
All the while knowing we’re gonna fry

And yet, I try speaking to you
And the subject keeps changing
But, I guess that’s our only remaining truth

You’re no longer young anymore
The mirror no longer reflects youth
It’s long past time for parting
Yes, I’ve admitted that too.

What are you pondering?
Do you pity me for what’s come before?
Or, are you hoping for something more?

Damn it!

I have so much to say
If only I could…

(January 2007)

A Simple Little Ditty

I just realized something today
YOU'RE NOT FUCKING LISTENING!
I suppose I shouldn't be surprised by this
It's something I've known for a while.

You speak simply enough
A convoluted form of lip service
Don't get me wrong
It's very inspiring
But,
YOU'RE NOT FUCKING LISTENING!

Yeah, your reasons are well thought out
There is definitely some truth there
But, you only getting half the story
And it just happens to be yours
'Cuz
YOU'RE NOT FUCKING LISTENING!

Lately, I've been in a foul mood
I'm going through a lot of shit
Yeah, I've used this excuse before
I might be worried that you'd actually notice
But,
YOU'RE NOT FUCKING LISTENING!

I just realized something today
YOU'RE NOT FUCKING LISTENING

I suppose I shouldn't be surprised by this
It's just,
I DON'T FUCKING CARE!

(June 2006)

Longing for Sophia

I’d like to say I understand.
I’d like to say that I know it’s for the best.
But I don’t feel that way,
And I wonder how you can.

It’d like to lash out and complain
But my heart isn’t really into it.
It’s more of a sore spot now,
Simply leaving me hollow.

Perhaps there is some greater purpose,
Some room for growth.
But I don’t feel that way,
And I wonder how you can.

When we first crossed paths,
It was a time of rapid change.
Now the movement is stagnant,
And I find myself treading alone.

The world moves about me,
And I feel stuck and sliding.
I’d like to say I understand.
Perhaps there is a greater purpose…

(October 2006)

Goddess of Waters

I wander wondering, pondering, slumbering.
The field is white on white, for every square,
Not much here, but everything there.
Play on words, at play on souls,
Squinting in the brightening Sun.

"Shield yourself!" She cries.
"This way, over the Waters!"

I wander wondering, pondering, slumbering.
The sighs and exclamations are numbering,
As I walk amongst the Trees,
And, still the Sun shines down.

"This way, over the Waters!"
"Like I showed you, remember?"

I wonder wandering, remembering, stumbling.
The Light fades to pale blue,
The Ocean shimmers, but does not fall.

"Yes, over the Waters"
"The Liquid of the Night"

I remember floundering,
I remember Love.

"Like I showed you, remember?"

(January 2005)

Of Trees, Streams and Precipices

Sometimes I think of myself as a tree rooted in other regions with only my branches gently swaying within this world...
Sometimes I see myself at the edge of a precipice wondering what it would be like to fly...
Sometimes I see myself as a stone in a rushing river letting it wash over me and smoothing out my rough edges...

It might appear to some that I am totally disconnected, but that really isn't the case.
It might appear to some that I am a dreamer lost, asleep here, but that isn't really the case either.

I guess you could say that I am simply living in between the reality which I know to be true and the truth I wish to be real...
I have yet to find my muse, my reason to stay here and relinquish my dreaming...
I have yet to learn to live with the waters of life rushing over and passing over me, shaping but disregarding me...

I want more than this...
I want to live...
I want to feel...
I want to create...

But,

I can't seem to find my place...
My deities are silent...
They watch but do not act for me...
And, I cannot seem to act for myself...

I have stopped growing...
I am stifled here in this in-between place...
I cannot move, I cannot breathe...

I can just wait...
I can just dream...

Someday there will be light in the abyss of this stream...
Someday there will be a breeze that will move these branches...
Someday I will be forces to find out...

If I can fly.

(July 2006)

Remembering

It’s been awhile since we talked Lady Raven.
So, long that I forgotten the sound of your voice,
And, the sight of your eyes has all but gone out.

Sometimes, I wonder where you are…
Sometimes, I wonder who you’ve become…
Sometimes, I wonder what life would’ve been like if…
And, I wonder if you were wrong…

I look back and remember your feeling,
But your face is lost to me.
With it has gone my certainty,
Lost in a swirling of fact and fiction.

Sometimes, I wonder who you’ve become…

As far as myself,
I have forgotten so much.
I’ve replacing dreaming with reality,
And, I believe that I’ve learned to cope

But,
Sometimes, I wonder where you are…

Lady Raven,
You once promised me a better world.
One in which I would know my place.
A world of magick and hope,
If only I could find patience.

Sometimes, I wonder what life would have been like if…

But, your promises now seem like empty words
And, the world keeps getting darker,
Friends become enemies,
Love has found its boundary,
And all about me are weeping.

Lady Raven,
Sometimes, I wonder if you were wrong…

(November 2006)

So Much Honesty

I have not forgotten
It took me so long
To realize
To remember

And yet
I still have not found the strength
To truly embrace
The fact of you

So, I hide behind this scholarly mask
This endeavor brings me solitude
It brings me silence

And pain

There is so much honesty
Here in the silence and pain
Not really being ‘other’
Not really being ‘sane’

(February 2005)

Uneven and Endless

There are times of late,
When I feel myself weary of my current path,
And the road stretched before me seems,
Uneven and endless.

It isn’t so much that I’ve lost hope,
It’s more that I lack direction,
Movement for the sake of motion,
Is simply never fulfilling.

To stay this course means a lot of
Moaning, consoling and whining.
But, what choice do I have?

There are times of late,
When the only contentment I feel
Arises when I’m,
Whimsical, silly or silent.
But to remain so,
Is like is like drinking tea backwards,
Asinine and ultimately impossible.

I’d love to drop everything,
And start anew.
But there are no do-overs,
Only commitments and must-dos.

So, I suppose I will stay the course,
And muscle through these current trials,
With passionless momentum.
Gliding through the prime of my life,
On empty promises and may-have-beens.

(October 2006)

Untitled

Gazing from here into the mists,
One often wonders what one missed.
"Looking here? It is sure to be over there..."
Or, so she gently whispers.

It is not clear what is being sought,
But each time a thing is grabbed or caught,
She softly whispers "Naught, naught, naught."
Sometimes surprised or amused by my thought.

And, still I hold a constant pace.
And, it has made no difference.

She smiles and nods but does not speak,
She refuses to tell me what I seek.
Perhaps, she thinks I already know?

And, yet there is comfort she provides.
No simple thing she does or says,
Just a nod, a grin, a gesture...

I sigh and then move on...

(November 2004)

Wind and Sandcastles

There are times when the sea comes rushing in,
And we’re all like seagulls,
Seeking escape.

And when the storm clouds blow,
And the mist nips at our ankles,
Some feel the clearest then,
Others are just cold.

But if it weren’t for the sea,
Its winds and its storms,
We'd all be stuck on the sand,
Each making sandcastles that would last forever,

And,
We’d soon be fighting for a place to land.

(December 2006)